Teach negotiation and assertiveness skills
Suggestion for implementing the strategy ‘Supporting language and communication skills’
On this page:
Go to top of current page: Teach negotiation
Go to top of current page: Teach negotiation
Teach how to use an I-message
Teach how to use an I-message
Instead of saying: “You stole my pencil” or “Give me back my pencil”... try an I-message:
- I feel anxious that I won’t be able to finish my work on time when you borrow my pencil
- I would like you to give me back my pencil.
Practice by writing or performing short plays, drawing cartoons, making posters, writing dialogue.
Visit I-messages to find more information and posters to support student use of I-messages.
Explore ways to respond
Explore ways to respond
Provide multiple opportunities for students to explore and discuss situations they find challenging.
Visit Enhancing relationships: Being assertive for more activities.
Activity 1
Students could brainstorm situations where their rights have been challenged, such as when another student queue-jumps or keeps interrupting them when they’re working.
Students discuss their reactions to each of these situations and identify the three different ways that people deal with a challenge to their rights: passively, aggressively, and assertively.
Activity 2
Discuss and demonstrate, for example, through role-play:
- passive response (keeping the head down, looking and sounding timid, and making no eye contact)
- aggressive response (using a loud voice and physical force, glaring, using put-downs, and making threats)
- assertive response (making eye contact, speaking firmly but pleasantly, and making clear statements).
Source: Health and Physical Education Online (opens in a new tab/window)
Provide an assertiveness model
Provide an assertiveness model
Use a range of options such as role play, puppets, or comic strips to practice using the assertiveness model.
An assertive person:
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Says “NO”
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Gives a reason
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Acknowledges the other person’s needs or concerns
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Suggests an alternative
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If faced with a persistent arguer, the person says “no” three times and then walks away.
Provide a negotiation model
Provide a negotiation model
Example scenarios
- A wants to go to the beach. B wants to see a movie.
- A wants B to clean up the bedroom. B likes it the way it is.
Negotiation model
- Preparation: Both sides decide separately on three outcomes: the best, an acceptable outcome, and the worst outcome they could accept.
- Discussion: One side at a time describes the facts, thoughts and feelings from their perspective. Questions can be asked to clarify understanding.
- Proposal/counter proposal: One side makes an offer or request. The other side makes a counter offer or request. Repeat this process aiming for a compromise.
- Agreement/disagreement: If there is still disagreement, return to step 1 and repeat.
Reflective questions
Reflective questions
- In what areas of your regular programme could you focus on building students’ assertiveness and negotiation skills?
- Are you modelling effective assertiveness and negotiation skills in your own practice?
Useful resources
Useful resources
Enhancing relationships: Being assertive
Learning activities to promote appropriate responses to challenging situations.
I-messages
Definition of I-message that can be used as a strategy to reduce conflict.
Publisher: Goalbook
Next steps
More suggestions for implementing the strategy “Supporting language and communication skills”:
Return to the guide “Behaviour and learning”
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How to use this site
Guide to Index of the guide: Behaviour and learning
Understand:
- Understanding behaviour
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Understanding how to respond to problem behaviourShow suggestions for Understanding how to respond to problem behaviour
Strategies for action:
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Foster positive relationships and partnershipsShow suggestions for Foster positive relationships and partnerships
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Collaboratively develop a safe and caring culture and climateShow suggestions for Collaboratively develop a safe and caring culture and climate
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Supporting language and communication skillsShow suggestions for Supporting language and communication skills
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Support emotional wellbeing and positive mental healthShow suggestions for Support emotional wellbeing and positive mental health
- Anticipate, monitor, and plan for responding to child stress
- Strengthen student identity
- Teach stress management, anxiety and coping skills
- Offer relaxation options and downtime activities
- Teach how to recognise emotions and options for expressing feelings
- Providing support following traumatic experiences
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Enable access and participation in learningShow suggestions for Enable access and participation in learning
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Respond safely to challenging situationsShow suggestions for Respond safely to challenging situations
